"Sheriff Pete"

Sarah's Lament...

What does it feel like to send my child out into the world? It's like having my own heart walking around outside of my body, outside of my protection, exposed to the elements...whatever may come.

Kindergarten has been a learning curve for all of us. So far I have proven myself to be a little slow at this whole deal. For example, the Friday before the first Husker game every single soul in the school was wearing red...except Peter! How in the world am I supposed to know about the Friday spirit-day tradition? I faithfully read every word in the weekly newsletter so we don't miss a thing. Peter came home that day and said, "There sure were a lot of people wearing Huskers today. Even Mrs. Jaworski [his teacher] was wearing red." He notices, and he cares about fitting in. I spent the next week shopping for Huskers shirts in every variety--short-sleeved in "Blackshirts" black and classic red, and a long-sleeved red one for cooler weather. I'll admit I went a little overboard, but my son will not go without Friday spirit again!

Rewind several weeks to our back-to-school shopping adventure. Here's the dilemma: Do we buy a character backpack (like Spiderman or Batman) or a more subdued, big-kid one? Surely these kindergartners are way too cool for "babyish" character gear now. We'll go with the safe, army-green camo number with cool reflector strips across the back pocket. Peter came shopping with me and chose it himself. He donned it with pride and looked like a big kid! And what did we find when we arrived the first day of school? We were surrounded by every character known to man: Spiderman, Batman, SpongeBob, Princesses, Dora, High School Musical...You name it, they're wearing it! Peter was one of the few with a "regular" backpack. He eventually took notice, but didn't seem to mind. The consolation? He really does like his backpack. And he told me he has the coolest lunchbox in his class--a Hot Wheels blue one. Whew! I guess it's all about mixing and matching.

So now we are learning. Read every newsletter, network with others to figure out the system, and watch out for Fridays. I think I can do this! Until this morning...

It's another Friday. Watch out for spirit day! The Millard newsletter declared today as "Dress Western Day" in celebration of River City Round-Up. All the kids and staff will dress up, and the cafeteria will serve a special BBQ meal for lunch. I was on top of this one! Peter definitely needed a good cowboy hat. I asked him earlier this week what kind he wanted, and he said, "I want one that's a 'real' one." I didn't know exactly what that means to him, but I thought I could take my best guess at the store. So I chose an authentic-looking black one with a leather strap on it. Then I saw the cheap-o straw one with a Sheriff star on it, and decided to buy that one too. Might as well have a choice, and then Clara can use the one he doesn't want. I also found this great Sheriff's badge--a gold star--that says, "Sheriff Pete" on it. Top it all off with a red bandanna and he looks like a classic! (Okay, so I'm getting a little crazy about this assignment too).

So this morning he got all dressed up (adorable!) and checked himself out in the mirror. He was excited to show his ensemble to his friends at school. John had the day off, so he walked Sheriff Pete to school (a rare occasion), and as they walked down the sidewalk together, Peter held his Dad's hand. What a precious sight! On their route to school they started noticing the other kids were not wearing cowboy hats. Maybe they just forgot or will put theirs on later? Peter still wanted to wear his. "It's cool," he said. When they got to the crosswalk near the school there were more kids without hats. This was looking more and more suspicious! John asked the crossing guard teacher if this was indeed Western Day, and she said, "We usually dress up, but they didn't announce it yesterday." Great! Peter still wanted to keep his outfit on, so he continued toward the school. As he began walking down the final hill, he turned around and looked back at his dad. John went down the hill to meet him and when he got there Peter sheepishly said, "Dad, I want to take it all off!" No one else was dressed up at all, and he wasn't going to be the rodeo clown today. Poor boy! John lovingly helped Peter tuck away his prized cowboy gear in his backpack, and sent him on his way. In one crushing scene our precious Sheriff Pete went from enthusiasm to embarrassment. Peter, please forgive me for imposing this embarrassment on you. I would never have intended for this to happen! I guess we all have a bit more of life to learn...

As for now, my heart aches just a little each day as I send and re-send Peter out into the world. And really, if this is the worst of the world through his eyes, then his life is pretty sweet after all. I'm learning a lot about my own insecurities as I strive to get kindergarten right. I'll count this as one more lesson learned--about myself as a mother.

And, by the way, we may or may not participate in the next Spirit Day. I guess it's not the most important thing after all.